Monkey Island Hints FINDING THE TREASURE... When you are asked to prove your self to the 3 pirates in the Scum Bar you have to dig up a treasure. Here is how. Buy a map from the fat guy on the street. Then look at it. Do The Monkey is writen on it. Now go to the fork and walk... Up, Left, Right, Left, Right, Up, Right, Left, Up, Then you're THERE! Just dig up the X with your shovel. THE SWORD MASTER... O.K. now go to the shopkeeper and ask him about the Sword Master. When he leaves follow him all the way to the Sword Master. If you do not, here is how to get there. From the fork, walk... Up, Up, Right, Right, Left, Up, Right, And there SHE is. She will reject your offer to kill her. So go kill some people, right? Well it is not that easy. KILLING PEOPLE... First off you do not actualy kill people but they look dumb when they loose to a fag like you! HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA! (just kidding) It is all about words (insalts really). If a pirate tells you something you do not know, you will learn it automaticly. If you have been insalted a lot then this will help you out. Here is a list of the insalts and there come backs! -=NOTE=- They have been shortend because one man can only write so much shit in one day. But I think you will be able to understand them. insdance sitting down-hemorroids flaring dairy farmer-you fight like a cow cuc-TIP get POINT shish kabob-waving feather duster puke-somebody allready did dog smarter-he tought you hanky blood-janitor scar on face-pick your nose brains no-i'd be in trouble manners begger-comforatable with me no blood nobody will-you run that fast disgusting you are-you never learned them apes-family reunion diapers-borrow one fall at feet-before smell breath You should win until you have all these insalts to say. Then go back to the Sword Master. KILLING THE SWORD MASTER... What? All new insalts? That's right but the same answers! They're tricky but we figured them out. -=NOTE=- Once again they have been shortend. So here they are... pain backside-hemorroids flaring hands covered blood-picking nose milk blood-you fight like a cow coward-he tought you wise enemies-before breath stupid words-comforatable with me sharp lesson-TIP POINT WATCH OUT because we did not get all of them. NOW SHE IS DEAD! (Well, maybe not dead, but insalted, alot!) GETING YOUR OWN CREW... Go to the Scum Bar and get all the mugs and fill one up with grog. Keep on switching glasses because they will melt and go to the jail. Give grog to Otis. Then go to the Sword Master. Then get a chicken in the voodoo place. Go to the house. Use chicken on cable. Talk to Mr. Meathook. Fondle his bird (The Hellian). Then go to the lights. Talk to Stan. Go to storekeeper. Ask about credit. Yes, you do have a job. Pick one it doesn't matter. WRITE DOWN THE WAY HE TURNS THE LEVER TO OPEN THE SAFE!!!!!!! If you did not here is how you open it... pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, push it, push it' pull it, push it, push it. Then you get a note. Now go buy a ship with the credit (the note you just got). -=NOTE=- You may have to kill some the extras to buy it. Then make an offer. Then go to the peer next to the Scum Bar. You've got a ship and a crew! YOUR SHIP... Get everything that is not bolted down! Open cereal box. Look at prize. Use key (formaly prize) in cabinet. Pick up chest. Open chest. Look in chest. Get paper. Look at paper. You allready have this stuff with you. Here is a list of what it really is in order so find them... 1) 1 cinamin (I can't spell for shit) stick(s) 2) 4 mints 3) 1 jolly roger (pirate flag) 4) 1 ink 5) 2 pts of fine wine 6) 1 chicken 7) 1 cereal Put all this stuff in the big pot in order. Use the 100% cotten T-shirt on fire under big pot. Get The small pot under the cereal before you do this! Use the rope on the canon. Use the pot. MONKEY ISLAND... Get the bannana on the beach. Go to the fort. Push the canon. Get the canon ball, powder, spyglass, and rope. Go to the piece of art. Push and pull the art until you like it that way. Go up and push the rock. Keep doing this until you hit the bannana tree. Then go and get the bannanas from the tree. Go to the dam. Use the powder on the dam. Then use the flint on the canon ball. Open the spyglass. Go to the pond and get the rope from the dead guy. Now go to the crack and use the rope on the tree. Next use the rope on the sturdy stump. Go down and get the oars. Use the boat (at the beach) and paddle to the beach farthest up. Then go to the village. Now get the bowl of fruit. When they throw you in the jail get the skull. Next open the loose board. Get the bottle at the beach. Now go to the monkey. Give all the bannans (5) to him. Then use the boat to get to the clearing. Now push (or pull) the nose. Go and get the wimpy little idol. Go give the idol to the people at the village. -=`~$tu$$y~`=- THE ADA$$ HIM$ELF... ... h!