IN HEARING OF THE ELECTRONIC BOGEYMAN: A CONTINUING SERIES
electronic bogeyman: a hacker, instrument of a hacker or anonymous source portrayed in the mainstream media as a menace to society. The electronic bogeyman must always be quoted making grandiose, unverifiable, or nutty claims (e.g., opening all the automatic garage doors in Anaheim, California at precisely 2:00 pm) about feats, usually malicious, that can be performed with a computer.
Usage: Reuters interviewed an _electronic bogeyman_ from Croatia who claimed he had invaded an installation where atomic secrets were kept. In a later press release the e-bogeyman downgraded this claim to Anderson Air Force Base on the island of Guam.
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In this week's episode of _electronic bogeyman_, the popular Web soap opera in which international and American news agencies print the press releases of teenagers who claim to have infiltrated the Pentagon or some other important and very secret place, we travel to Croatia, where a fifteen year-old hacker made his country so proud, officials there were inspired to hold a press conference so that people in the United States would notice.
During the episode, wire news reports about the Croatian electronic bogeyman changed so much from day to day (first a hacker had broken into an "atomic installation," then the hacker said he had downloaded files, later he said he had not, etc.), they reeked strongly of phlogiston. The waffling nature of the story speaks strongly for itself and large elements of it are reprinted verbatim from the original news releases.
February 20th --
". . . Laura Lui of the Reuter News Service says the [Croatian] local press is reporting [that] three high school students, surfing the Internet on their home computer, broke into several U.S. military installations' databases, including those of the Anderson nuclear installation and an unnamed satellite research center."
"Lui [said] that following a report in the Zagreb daily Vecernji List, local reporters flocked to the high school in the Adriatic port of Zadar where the . . . teen-age hackers . . . specialize in mathematics and information technology."
"One of the teenagers, identified . . . as [Vice Miskovic], told the state news agency HINA he accessed the Pentagon database while surfing the Net [in January].
"[Vice Miskovic] told [Reuters], 'The data are compressed and need to be extracted, so I don't really know everything they contained, but it sure was very interesting.'"
" . . . assistant Interior Minister Zeljko Sacic told state radio that invaders broke into the U.S. Defence [sic] Department computer system of the airbase on Guam island . . . "
February 21 --
"A report this week that high school computer users in Croatia had broken Pentagon protection codes and copied highly classified files from U.S. military bases has been flatly denied by the U.S. Defense Department . . ."
"Zagreb press is reporting [hackers], surfing the Internet on their home computer, broke into several U.S. military installations' databases, including those of the Anderson nuclear installation . . . [the hackers] broke codes . . ."
"'They did not,' Defense Department spokesman Ken Bacon told reporters in Washington. 'They did apparently get into some computers at Anderson Air Force Base in Guam.'"
March 3 --
"[Vice Miskovic], a Croatian teen-ager, says he modified programs he found on the Internet and used them, 'with a bit of luck,' to hack his way into a U.S. military computer at the Anderson Air Force Base in Guam."
"'It was a challenge,' says 15-year-old Vice Miskovic of Zadar. 'I was curious to see whether I could do it or not.'"
"Miskovic told Associated Press writer Snjezana Vukic he searched through the Anderson base files during the month of January, but whenever he wanted to download files, they started to disappear."
Crypt News translation: Vice Miskovic first claimed he downloaded secret files to get the attention of international wire news reporters like Laura Lui. But when he couldn't produce them weeks later, Miskovic confessed he hadn't actually downloaded any files at all and further confused the issue through clever use of a techno-magic, dog-ate-my-homework alibi.
The remainder of the March 3 news release on Vice Miskovic is full of standard, if unfortunate, electronic bogeyman cliches: The electronic bogeyman didn't destroy anything, the electronic bogeyman's computer was seized by government authorities, the electronic bogeyman's grandmother loved her grandson whom -- she said -- preferred computers to dating girls.
". . . Nediljka Miskovic said her shy grandson (or other reports named her as Vice's mom) -- known in the computing underground as 'Intruder' -- has always been fascinated by computers. 'He had no interest in new jeans, sneakers or girls.'"
The casual Net surfer is invited by Crypt Newsletter to use the popular Dejanews Usenet search engine to search for evidence of the dangerous electronic bogeyman, Vice Miskovic.
A search keyed to his name returns a mind-rotting number of hits, most of them connected to a get-rich-quick by mail scam (known as Make Money Fast). Some of Miskovic's Make Money Fast posts were later canceled by users from the net-abuse newsgroups. Miskovic's name was also attached to a phoney hacker mailing list.
Someone claiming to be a "Vice Miskovic" posted Make Money Fast repeatedly to the Usenet in January with an address in Zadar, Croatia, attached. At the end of one of the Make Money Fast posts, "Miskovic" pleaded:
"INCLUDE me ! Ey it is so expensive to connect to NET here in CROATIA! I am spending all MY money on this INTERNET CALL! Can U help by sending money 4 me! I'll repay U when i EARN money! PLEASE!!!! IF yes mail me to virus@openet.freenet.hut.fi I have foreign ADDRESS cause it is FREE! If U mail me I'll reply AND send U my ADRESS!"
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Reuters: international misinformation vendor.
Usage: Reuters wire news stories told the legend of Vice Miskovic of Zadar, Croatia, a dangerous teenage electronic bogeyman who preferred his computer over various girlfriends.
--From the Crypt News "Joseph K Guide to Tech Terminology"
Crypt News tip: Hey, international teen hackers! Interested in maximizing your worldwide publicity? Stop wasting time harassing the locals in chat rooms on America On-Line! Instead, buckle down and ensure your place in news wire immortality by sending those electronic press releases to your local Reuters or Associated Press bureau, preferably to a reporter or desk editor _not_ fluent with computers but hungry for a scoop. Be aware that if you are too convincing in the world press your equipment may be seized.
Late breaking news:
March 6 -- Yikes! Reuters reports still more electronic bogeymen - this time defacing a NASA Webpage in Greenbelt, Maryland. The latest atrocity, only three days after the wire's last dispatch on Vice Miskovic!
" . . . the Reuter News Service says a group calling itself H4G13 left a message online claiming responsibility."
"During the next month, we the members of H4G13 will be launching an attack on corporate America. All who profit from the misuse of the Internet will fall victim to our upcoming reign of digital terrorism," wrote the electronic bogeymen, rather balefully.
[Feel free to mail your suggestions and screenplays for future episodes of _electronic bogeyman_ (tm) to crypt@sun.soci.niu.edu.]