|  |                    Bong Software Presents...
     |  | /--\__/            Lamer's Story!
    == w|/                   By: Cerebus
     |MW/                    Date released: 11/30/94
     |W /|                   Call I Forget! 610-544-8001
     |--|                    for the latest Bong Software Stuff.


           Lamer Joe thought he was cool. He read a bunch of articles by the 
    ever so wonderful media on getting "on line" so he thought he would go out  
    and buy a computer. He brought home his brand new IBM,and booted it up. 
    Suddenly a weird thing came up on the screen. It read,C:\. "Hmmmmm" said 
    Lamer Joe,"what's that?" He fiddled with it,and decided it was broken,so
    he spent the next 6 hours installing Windows. He finally got into Windows,
    and he barely was able to operate it,so he returned it. "I want a Mac" he
    said to the salesman. "Windows and that other thing is too hard" So he got
    himself a Power Mac. "I can play that IBM stuff on this easily!" thought
    Lamer Joe,but when he booted up Doom 2,it crashed. "Why doesn't it work?"
    thought Lamer Joe. So he called up his friend at work. "Your problem is
    you have a Mac!" Said Non-Lamer Austin,and his buddy Non-Lamer Jeff. "Get
    out of computers if you have to resort to a Mac like Lamer Karl Keck who 
    runs the Haverford High School Network,call the school,give a different
    name everytime and harrass him,but Lamer Joe decided to get online with
    his hep 2400 modem. He logged onto I Forget!,the first number he saw. 
    When he saw all of the drug files and the insane message bases(once he 
    used 8 hours of time to figure out how to hit "t",he wrote a lame letter
    to Ascii Express telling him off. Ascii posted it for all to see and 
    everyone laughed at him into eternity,and broke into his house and burned
    his Power Mac in effegy.
        The moral of the story is...

         IF YOU OWN A MAC,YOU'RE A LAMER AND WE HATE YOU(with a few exceptions,
                                                         parental units stupid)
         IF YOU USE WINDOWS FOR ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR COOL GAMES THAT THE
         DESIGNERS WERE TOO LAZY TO PROGRAM A REAL DOS VERSION FOR,WE HATE YOU
         GO AWAY YOU FUCKING LAMER

         IF YOU CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE A BBS,WRITE LAME MESSAGES,AND LIKE
         STUPID USELESS FILES AND UTILITiES YOU'RE A FUCKING LAMER GET AWAY

         Thank you,I've had my say,

                           Cerebus